Tongue n' Cheek

(Author Unknown)

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn’t concentrate.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it...mainly because it was just a so-so job.

Then I tried to be a chef…figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the time.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but it just didn’t fit.

So, I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patients.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.

Became a professional fisherman, but found I couldn’t live on my net income.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO, I RETIRED AND FOUND I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!