Tongue n' Cheek

  1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
  2. Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
  3. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
  4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
  5. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?
  6. Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
  7. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
  8. If Fed-Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed-UP?
  9. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
  10. What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
  11. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, toothpicks?
  12. If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
  13. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
  14. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “THEIRS”?
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