Tongue n Cheek

Forget, “you might be a redneck.” The Townies share their red-flag patient stories.

You might be a red-flag patient if:

“…you insist on telling me in serious detail about your alien abduction.”––Shazammer

“…you feel the urge to spit as soon as a mirror and explorer touch your mouth and every 15 seconds after that throughout the entire appointment.”––Kathrdh

“…you start telling me about your bleeding GOOMZ problem.”––Amybethrdh

“…you can’t get through a prophy appointment without your four-pound whining dog sitting on your lap the entire time. And then insisting that every little movement and whimper out of him is the cutest thing ever.”––Amybethrdh

“…you haven’t had your teeth cleaned in 20 plus years, but decide today is the day...‘cause you just figured out that the dental insurance that you’ve had for 15 years allows you a ‘free’ cleaning.”––Amybethrdh

“…you are nine years old and your mother accompanies you into the op with a bag of fresh clothes because you have vomited at every prophy appointment since you have been three. Your dad does the vomit thing, too.”––Shazammer

“…you insist on nitrous for the prophy and then do lamaze breathing throughout the appointment, until I realize I am getting ALL the nitrous from your woo, woo, woo exhalations, and you are getting none.”––Shazammer

“...if you tell me you’re bleeding because I poked you too hard.”––April

“...you get upset about all of the ‘disposable’ items because they are filling up a landfill somewhere, and ask, ‘could you save some of those things to use on me next time?’”––Lungs

“…you came in for your hygiene appointment and say your filling came out, but you took care of it with super glue.”––Bmrohlman