Tongue n Cheek

Forget, “you might be a redneck.” The Townies share their red-flag patient stories.

You might be a red-flag patient if:

“...if you tell me you ‘try’ to brush your teeth at least once a day, but it’s usually more like a few times a week.”––CarrieDL08

“...when your hygienist shows you in the mirror the abundant plaque on your teeth, you scrape it off with your fingernail and eat it.”––Bobrossgroupie

“...you drink random chemicals when the hygienist leaves the room to get you a toothbrush, and she has to spend the rest of the day looking at MSDS sheets and making sure you’re not going to die.”––Bobrossgroupie

“...you ask me to clean just every other tooth (we can do the others next time) because you are very nervous and want to get out as fast as you can.”––Klara

“…you hold a sharp pocket knife, open, in your hand, trimming a piece of leather during an entire root planing appointment.”––Clare

“…you are wearing a knit cap in July, have four teeth because the rest were smashed out with a 40 oz., and say, ‘praise the Lord’ after each sentence.”––Eatsomesand

“…you are in your 40s, get jealous of the three-year-old who just received a cow pencil-topper, then receive one for yourself because you explained that “cows are my thing,” and then get excited and say that “you feel so lucky!”––Juicy

“…you have to go to the bathroom every time I pick up an instrument.”––Yangel

“…you must read a magazine while I try to perform your prophy with your head in one position blocking my light.”––Yangel

“…you stare at my eyes the entire prophy.”––Iriedel

“…you come in and say that you can’t remember the last time you brushed your teeth, and you are only here because your wife made you.”––Iriedel